 to phone or not phone your child that is the question by shari navetta my son was 22 months when he was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes we have been through everything from dealing with insulin pumps while wearing diapers to valentine s day school parties and sleepovers now he is eleven years old and in middle school he and i handle his diabetes every day when he was five he was invited to a birthday party when i dropped him off the mom said her husband was just leaving to go get the pizza i decided to stay until the pizza arrived so i could dose him for the correct amount of carbohydrates needless to say an hour and a half later i felt incredibly awkward still being there and the pizza still hadn t arrived i found myself staying in the basement of the boy s house with 20 little boys running around me having a nerf war i was super annoyed and told myself something has to give as i drove home i realized i hadn t stayed because the pizza hadn t arrived but i stayed because i was afraid to leave him alone at a parent s house that didn t know much about diabetes he was at an age where it was awkward to helicopter around him yet i didn t trust his ability to make life and death decisions on his own choosing not to allow him to go to the party because of diabetes wasn t an option to me the next day i went to the store and got my little man a flip phone i was super uneasy about the judgement i would receive from other kindergarten parents i knew it seemed ridiculous to give him a phone at such a young age however i decided when he was away from me i needed to know that he was ok of course he was thrilled with his new little piece of independence we discussed rules and because it was only a flip phone he couldn t play games on it for the next six years there were many times that i realized getting him that phone and a couple of upgrades since then was probably the best diabetes mom or d mom as so many of us love calling each other decision i have ever made i have been able to set rules about phones early when he still listened and followed them he s been able to learn responsibility for an expensive item he never did find out that first flip phone was actually free when i added another line to our plan for 10 to him that phone was important and irreplaceable it allowed him freedom having type 1 diabetes when you are growing up can be stifling enough when you are nine and ten years old you really don t want your mom following you around the neighborhood to a party or to a sleep over he was able to do all of these things knowing that if he was in trouble i was only a call or text away more importantly it allowed him to learn to trust himself i also imagined caring for your diabetes at a young age would be kind of like taking that first leap into the lake and knowing you would be able to keep yourself above the water with each new opportunity of independence he has handled himself responsibly he understands that the phone is his way to care for himself finally it allowed me freedom when you are a d mom you are as protective as a mother bear in the wild every minute of the day and night low blood sugars are ready and waiting to snatch your baby from your watch we are vigilant and fearless and it is hard to let our cubs out of our sight knowing he had that phone allowed me to go back to work it allowed me to let him go to the sleepovers and allowed me to sleep while he was there he still doesn t know i am usually within ten minutes of him it allows me to watch him learn to care for himself and teach him pitfalls and dangers along the way getting him a phone was a great decision for our family every family is different and every child has their own needs for our family the phone gave us many opportunities for him and me to have a little independence while still feeling connected and i don t regret it  